MBDTA: The Break Room
by MBDTA
Summary: Formerly a oneshot, now the continual office set story of one sue's attempted coup of the MBDTA. COMPLETE
1. The Break Room

The MBDTA: The Break Room

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This little one shot popped into my head while typing a chapter of The Return of the Power Hungry Monarchs

I may or may not continue this one, it is open to interpretation, being without a sizable plot, but conataining many allusions

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Kelsey sat quietly in the break room of the Fantasy department one late Tuesday morning . . . or early afternoon, depending on which you would prefer to think of it as, munching on the pan fried pavenders someone from the Narnia sub department had donated to the break room.

_It doesn't get much better than this_ she thought to herself, digging her fork into the fish. She had just brought her fork to her mouth, when the door bust open with a flurry of snow and Mr. Tumnus walked in.

"Good Morning." He nodded to her and headed for the microwave with his bag of popcorn.

"I rather think it's closer to tea time." Kelsey replied mildly, glancing at one of the multiple clocks that lined the walls.

There was a clock for every world in the department, which was why fantasy had split off from the classic fairytales several years ago. The Narnia clock stated something about eight o'clock in January, but the Lord of the Rings clock which Kelsey lived off of was closer to tea time.

"Whatever time it is, I'm starving." Mr. Tumnus unwound his muffler, "Jadis is getting grumpy – she wants some payment. If you guys have a Mary Sue come in, send her our way – even one of them is better than a grumpy Jadis."

"You don't have any particularly yummy elves." Kelsey told him, "That's why you aren't getting that many people."

"Now where are we to get some then?" Tumnus asked with a sigh.

Just then, Mandy and Glorfindel walked in, chatting about something or other. Mandy seized Tumnus's popcorn and stuck it in the microwave, since he didn't seem to want it anymore – he tended to freak out a bit when Jadis was angry.

"I'm telling you, Glorfindel, I know these things! You have to be pretty with young women who claim Legolas is blonde." Mandy's voice rose above Tumnus's harsh breathing.

"But-"

"Yes, I know Legolas is blonde, but the point is, that – as Nickel pointed out – the books don't say anything about Legolas being blonde. Therefore, she's Movie bias and we don't have a department for Movies! You go to universal pictures for that!"

"I know that, Mandy, but don't you think she could just be biased because of confusion?"

"We are a literary organization and that is that." Kelsey interjected, "Remember the time the Philosophy Department let that boy visit Plato's The Republic? It was a mess, because he had no clue what was going on and got lost between the words. They finally found him in the Allegory of the Cave and he was sensitive to light for ages afterward. There was a huge lawsuit over it."

"Anyways," Mandy added, "If she's another one of those Mary Sues, our paychecks, as well as you and Elrond's compensations are going down the drain when we have to cut off an alternate universe and seal it. Making new story worlds is hard."

"If you have a Mary Sue," Tumnus piped up, "You can send her our way. Jadis is looking for another Daughter of Eve to temp – and Sues are her favorites."

The Microwave beeped

"Poor Tumnus!" Mandy cried out, edging toward the microwave, "Of course, we'll just have to tell her Legolas is on vacation there . . . or working as her tour guide or something."

Tumnus perked up and snatched his popcorn from Mandy's grasp, "Oh good, thank you, Daughter of Eve!" He left the break room, skipping along.

Mandy gazed after the popcorn as the door swung shut.

"Pavender?" Kelsey offered.

"No." Mandy sighed, "I'll go talk to Legolas about being her tour guide – the silly chit won't even notice she isn't in Middle Earth."

"Too true." Glorfindel sighed, "The business has gone downhill over the years; nobody is interested in architecture or scenery anymore."

"That's what movies with hot actors do to books." Kelsey sighed.

Nicole walking in then, hauling a pile of books, "You know what the Mythology Department did to me?" She asked, "That idiot, Zeus, was hitting on me _**again!**_" She dropped the books into a corner, "And while I was carrying this pile of allusions too."

"Again?" Glorfindel and Kelsey asked.

"This is what, the sixtieth time?" Kelsey asked.

"I'll let you know when I tally it up in my cubicle." Nicole muttered angrily, "It might take me a few years though."

The three laughed at that, Zeus did, after all, hit on everyone who entered his department.

"So what exactly did the department itself do?" Kelsey asked, polishing off her rapidly cooling lunch.

"They insisted on us researching every allusion in our sub department and hand out pamphlets. And you _know_ upstairs is going to think it's brilliant, though I think it's wasteful."

"Of time or paper?" Glorfindel asked.

"Both." Nicole glared at the pile of books, "And we're way too understaffed to do it without losing our social lives."

"We should apply for a raise." Kelsey commented, wistfully, "Though they'd probably just throw more work on us and cut our paycheck if we did."

"Not that we're exactly underpaid." Nicole said, "Though considering the workplace hazards. . ."

Everyone lapsed into a memory of their least favorite workplace hazard. Nicole, still angry at Zeus brought his image to mind, glaring at the Dark Materials clock. Kelsey was remembering the variety of highly stressful lawsuits that came with sending people into books. Glorfindel mentally battled an army of Mary Sues. There were many workplace hazards at the M.B.D.T.A.

"Well, I'd best get started, before upstairs gets wind of this new project and decide to spread it to the other department and include applied philosophy." Nicole sighed.

"I'll help you," Glorfindel offered, "Elrond's ring of power went missing this morning and I don't want to go back just yet. Especially since I know where it is."

"Oh?" Kelsey asked, "Where is it?"

"It his jewelry box – the one he avoids looking at that Arwen made when she was five." Glorfindel laughed, "The twins hid it there."

"It doesn't have any power though, does it?" Kelsey asked, rather worried.

"No, but he likes to think it does." Glorfindel and Nicole left the break room, chuckling to themselves.

Kelsey looked around for any tea bags, but seeing none, decided on a drink of water from one of the many water filters. She chose a cup of the sweet water of the eastern sea in Narnia and headed back to her cubicle to finish arranging a field trip for some Harvard students to look at Mount Doom.

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Thanx for reading, now reveiw

For more to read, that's what I'd do.

-Nickel of the MBDTA


	2. Soaps

Chapter Two

The Soap Opera Chapter where our two favorite characters finally go out. Aww. Though you probably haven't gotten to know our favorite characters yet.

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Glorfindel stared bemusedly at the pile of books blocking his path, "Nicole?" he called.

An answering grunt came from the other side of the literary wall, only to fall back into the slow breathing of one who is deeply asleep.

Glorfindel lifted up a 400 year old illuminated Bible, an analyzed version of Plato's Republic – huge despite the four point font – and various hardcover first, second and third editions of some dry old lady's book of Mythology, to reveal the golden head of his coworker, heavily resting on an embellished original Arabic version of the Qur'an. Nicole's cheek was black and gold with ink that had stained her skin from moving in her sleep.

Glorfindel sighed and picked his way around the now somewhat revealed desk, edging between a stack of what looked suspiciously like dead sea scrolls and a haphazard pile of about 300 term papers. "Nicole!' he said, louder this time.

"Wha-!" Nicole yelped, flying about two feet into the air and landing, limbs splayed, on the term papers, "oh . . . ow. . . I think I broke something." She stood up rather blearily, throwing some of the papers into a box that was surprisingly empty. "Yes, I definetly broke something." She winced, "And that something would be my back." She twisted, from side to side, producing several loud cracks.

"If you broke your back you wouldn't be able to walk." Glorfindel pointed out.

"But since something-" CRACK, "-isn't right, therefore-" CRACK, "something must be broken." She twisted one last time, making sure no more vertebrae needed alignment, "All better though; what time is it?"

Glorfindel ignored her question, "Have you been here all night?"

"erm . . .yes."

"You said you would turn in for the night just after I left!" He exclaimed, "Are you crazy?" It's seven o'clock in the morning and you're still here." His eyes softened, "You should go home."

"Not when I'm so close!" Nicole bounded around the tiny space, "I finished almost every one of these books!" She threw them one after another into the box, which never seemed to grow full, until all the books were gone, except for the Qur'an, which she stowed under her desk, marking her place. "The Qur'an's just a bit of light reading I was hoping to finish."

"That's light reading?" Asked an aide who had come for the books.

Nicole dumped the box into his arms, making the poor guy – he was a dwarf – stumble, which is no easy thing. "Anyway, I am proud to say that the list of Mythological and Religious illusions is rather short."

"You really have job satisfaction, don't you?" Glorfindel looked around, "Need any help with it?"

"If you don't mind becoming best friends with the new copier." Nicole beamed.

Glorfindel sighed, "Is manual labor all I'm good for around here?"

Nicole ignored him, stalking toward the single computer in the department, stack of notes under one arm and pen drive swinging in her other hand. Glorfindel decided to get something useful done, and began to organize the current mess that was Nicole and his cubicle, trying for the thousandth time to understand her filing system.

* * *

"Good morning, Glorfindel!" Kelsey cheerily sang, setting down her cup of coffee and the morning company newssheet. "I didn't know you were here. You realize that you have mail in your box, don't you?"

"No I didn't" Glorfindel sighed hopelessly at the sad pile of brochures and the exponentially larger stack of papers in need of folding. "and I don't think I'll get around to checking it anytime soon."

Kelsey eyed the papers, "I have a contract signing with that girl who wants a Legomantic tour, but I'll fold those if you want to run down stairs."

"Thank you!" Glorfindel fled, leaving a mildly amused Kelsey to fold brochures.

"I think that's enough brochures, Nickel!" Kelsey called to the arriving stack of papers, you don't want to scare people away from tours.

"You should read some of these." Nicole told her, sitting down and rapidly creasing her works.

"If you keep bringing them in, I won't get the chance."

"Well," Nicole glanced around at the brochures, "Truth is, I just wanted to keep Glorfindel busy, he's been acting kind of strange lately when he doesn't have anything to do."

"I noticed that." Kelsey sighed, "he must be having his . . . how old is he now? . . Mid-age crisis."

Nicole finished her stack of pamphlets in record time and had finished Kelsey's by the time Glorfindel returned. Mandy came in with him, chatting over her hot chocolate – something about penguins.

"I'll go put these in our book room." Nicole stood up, knocking over her stool, "Be back in a bit!" She stacked the first two boxes of brochures, and – balancing them on one hip – tried to lift a third and fourth box.

Glorfindel – seeing disaster – swiftly took the two boxes from her, "Allow me." He said and wiggled his foot – gesturing for her to lead the way.

"How long till one of them cracks?" Mandy whispered to Kelsey.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about." Kelsey turned away from Mandy and propped her laptop on her desk.

"Oh come on, Kelsey. Just because you don't date in the department doesn't mean you can't endorse it for other people."  
Kelsey miffed.

Mandy groaned, "Kelsey! He likes her, and she likes him! What's your problem?"

"If they won't tell each other and deal with it, Amanda, I see no reason to interfere!" Kelsey snapped angrily.

"Geez." Mandy sat on the desk, "So what do you know about that girl who's coming in today?"

* * *

"Glorfindel, I don't need any help!"

"Just let me take one of the boxes-"

"No, Glorfindel, I'll manage." Nicole kicked off her shoe and lift here foot up to the doorknob. Gripping it with her toes, she opened the door, "So ha!"

Glorfindel grabbed her shoe.

"Hey! Give me that."

"What are you doing this evening?"

"Give me my shoe!" Nicole began to jump up and down to reach the shoe, dropping her boxes to the ground.

"Answer my question."

"I'm going to my other job. Give me my shoe."

"What job?"

"I teach dance on Thursdays."

"Where?"

"It doesn't matter, give me my shoe!"

"What are you doing for your lunch break?"

"Practicing my application speech for a raise."

"Really?"

"Give me my shoe!"

"Who are you going with for the Christmas Party?" This change of subject did not throw Nicole off – she was a master of changing subjects randomly and without notice. (Just ask Mandy)

"None of your business."

"In other words, nobody."

"In other words I have options."

"Not from where I'm standing."

Nicole stopped hopping up and down and glared suspiciously at Glorfindel, "What exactly are you insinuating?"

Glorfindel smiled, "You have no options if you want your shoe back!"

Nicole glared at him and whacked him with her other shoe.

"Ow!"

"Give. Me. My. Shoe."

Glorfindel held the shoe higher.

"I'm surprised to see you're holding up so well to my displeasure." Nicole commented.

"I have my reasons." Glorfindel announced.

"And what exactly are those?"

"Will you go with me to the Christmas party?" Glorfindel held his breath, closing his eyes momentarily.

"Gotcha!" Nicole cried out triumphantly as she grabbed the shoe from Glorfindel's finger tips.

Glorfindel's heart sank as he picked his boxes up.

Nicole stood up straight from lifting her load and looking back, grinned at his expression, and as to you're question: Sure, why not?"

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Isn't it sweet? Any one that's interested can note that this will continue (I hope) albit slowly.. I was inspired by this crazy dream that My buddy meagan had, so I plan to incorperate that for our next adventure.


	3. Christmas

**Reveiws:**

**Katana777:** Thanks for your suggestion, I'lll think about it, though I barely have time to post here, let alone anywhere else.

**Gina**

**Meagan:** As you can see, though this is the last one.

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**Author's Note:** The plot of this story comes from Meagan's crazy dream, so since it fit, I wrote it. That's callled Logic. Enjoy, and yes, I know it's weird. 

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**Christmas**

It was of course, a rather amusing affair, gathering characters and demi-insane people together for a party that involved drinks and mistletoe. The annual Christmas party always guaranteed general chaos, hence chaos herself was never invited – she was more fun when she crashed parties. Kelsey looked forward to this event with slight apprehension, all while trying to pretend Nickel and Glorfindel weren't "together". This was a difficult task. The fated day dawned, the last of the pesky customers stowed away and the first of the fancy cheeses arriving. Mandy was in a panic.

"Where did my fruitcake go?" She screamed, staring at the unusually organized desk that the Lord of the Rings Cubicle contained, "It was right there!"

"Glorfindel took it Up Stairs." Kelsey leaned back in her wheelie chair, "He thought you wanted it delivered."

"I was going to take it!" Mandy moaned, "And ask for my Christmas bonus."

Kelsey looked concerned, "You mean it didn't come in?"

"No!"

Nickel sidled over, "Hide me!"

"Why?" Mandy asked, "Your boyfriend stole my fruitcake!"

Nickel blinked.

"Mandy!" Glorfindel exclaimed, "They want to see you Up Stairs."

"Why?" She squeaked as Nickel dove under the desk.

"They forgot to give you your bonus." Glorfindel followed Nickel.

Mandy bounded out of the tiny space.

"Why are you two under the desk?" Kelsey asked.

"Zeus is stalking me again."

"Sues are stalking me again."

"Ah . . ."

* * *

"Cheese anyone?" Mandy asked cheerily. 

"Mph . . ." Nickel pulled away from Glorfindel, "No thanks."

"Alright then."

The main room had been cleared of cubicles and the party was on. Cindy, the secretary, was smashing Glass shoes since all the plates were gone – at least all the smashable ones. Lucius Malfoy sat on top of a rain cloud one of the Mythology people had conjured, talking to penguins that weren't there, a bottle of fire whiskey in his hand. And Nickel and Glorfindel were glue to each other. Kelsey and Mandy were avoiding the spot, wondering who started it, but too busy trying to keep Zeus away from them to care too much. The stereo was in the middle of Carol of the Bells when something shattered that was not one of Cindy's numerous shoes.

Everyone looked around nervously.

"Oh where of where has Legolas gone?" A sickeningly sweet voice filled the room as a girl – about 15, with blue streaked black hair and an unnatural figure – strode in through one of the large glass mirrors.

"How did she-" Mandy was frozen – literally.

Kelsey looked up to see the Sue had taken to freezing most of the room with – Jadis, the White Witch's wand. "Oh, this is bad." She muttered, creeping away.

The Sue witch had frozen Nickel and Glorfindel in a rather awkward position. Zeus was frozen solid in the midst of throwing a thunderbolt, and Lucius was still talking to his imaginary penguins.

"There he went!" Kelsey screamed desperately, pointing through a door.

The sue ran through. Kelsey slammed the door shut.

"Whew, now where will I find Aslan . . ." Kelsey locked the door and set off Up Stairs – where even Mandy and Glorfindel hadn't actually gone – they'd just seen the secretary who had now been turned to stone.

The stairs to Up Stairs were blue and yellow, bright blue and yellow. It was no wonder most people avoided them. At the top, a red door stood out against the yellow and blue. This door was no ordinary door – it shone brighter than the lurid yellow, more shockingly than the electric blue – this door was The Door. Kelsey didn't doubt that beyond it was where no one should go.

Many new employees, and even veterans of the MBDTA, thought about going through this door. A few had climbed the stairs, but it was said that those who went through never came back.

Kelsey gulped

- And opened the door.

It was surprisingly easy, just a slight push and it was open, flooding the lurid stairs with clean light that made the strange yellow and blue and red into a thousand colors like a rainbow.

"Hello, Kelsey."

"Hi, Aslan." She replied shyly, "Hello, Eru, and Yahweh. Good afternoon, Allah." She didn't know the others – they were strange Gods from strange stories, but they were all very hard to look at, despite the fact that Kelsey could See them quite well.

"Why have you come?" They spoke with one voice, a very sad, tired voice.

"There is a Sue downstairs turning people to stone."

"We know." The voice began to speak to its selves . . . something like that. "We will fix the problem, go and return now, and tell the Elf to just marry her already, we all realize they love each other."

"It's not that simple, uh . . ."

"You may call us One. Of course it is not simple when you are on the ground."

"I'll let him know."

"Have a cookie on your way out."

Kelsey backed out of the room, taking a cookie as she had been told. When she reached downstairs, the party was in full swing, though Glorfindel and Nickel hadn't really moved. She whacked Glorfindel with a spoon, "Get married already, One said so."

"Huh?"

"Just get married already."

Nickel grinned, "I know a great little chapel . . ."

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_Finis_

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_Well, that's it. I hope you liked it. Reveiw. :)_


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